I never celebrate birthdays; where I come from you get a little something from your family and maybe someone bakes you a small cake. No big whoop– it’s all good. Seeing as this will be the celebration (well, for some of you – misery for the rest of you) of my 516 months on the little blue planet, I figgered that it was time to break a few habits. I will – now this is the scary part. Are you sitting down? – be hosting a birthday gathering later this summer. I need your help in deciding what the name shall be. Because of the monumental nature of the event, the suffixes “2007”, “bash” ,“fest” and “o-rama” will figure quite prominently (Unless you know of other good suffixes)
So far, my choices are:
1. Leave Your Beer & Wine (now SCRAM)-o-rama
2. Mustard, Preztels and Liquor-o-rama 2007
3. Nuttin’ but Condiments-fest (Youse guys know how much I love my mustard LOL)
4. Root Beer Party 2007
5. Show us your (insert name of favorite body part here) -fest (Who put that one on the list?!? Really!)
6. 516 months of bliss. Just ask my husband-fest
7. My Kick Ass, Knock your Grandma Down 3rd annual 40th Birthday Bash
8. Bothering the Neighbours Since 1964; why destroy an ancient tradition-fest
9. One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor-fest (a dear friend recommended changing this to 1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, “whore-fest”. Remarkably, he is still alive. For now)”
10. Sharkey & Muffin’s White Trash Bash (“it won’t start when I shut it off so she has to get the beer. She slips it on the front seat and she quietly says to me….” Sing along if you know it)
11. My Neighbors are Old – Let’s Keep Them Awake-fest
12. Booze Crooze in my BackYard 2007
13. The Cops Ain’t Bin to my House since Grandma was Arrested, so let’s give them a reason to visit-fest
14. Y’all Get Real Drunk, Y’hear-fest (courtesy of Pat)
Please place your votes via the handy-dandy comment feature. June sumthing sumthing, I'll tally up the numbers and see who walks/limps/crawls away the winner. There may be prizes involved. Maybe....
In all seriousness, we are respectable, law-abiding people who are not white trash (at least, I don’t think that we are). We’re relatively well-educated, well-traveled and civilized. Just for the record: Grandma as never been arrested nor has anyone tried to kick her, we do not want to see your various body parts, there will probably be no tequila, I like my neighbors and finally, yes we will serve food, not just condiments.
If you’ve got any others, send ‘em on. I’ll be busy spraying my beehive hairdo for spiders, slapping on my marabou sling backs and adjusting my stretch pants. My fluorescent pink lycra stretch pants. Yeah, I know – you think in pictures, doncha?!?