Monday, April 30, 2007

I saw the worst movie EVER

Yesterday, MMM (the Canadian music channel) ran Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story.

The movie sucked. Then it blowed. Then it spewed. It was garbage. It was worse than garbage (wait, what's worse than garbage?). The writers and producers took a fairly interesting story of working class blokes making it big, facing difficulties and rebuilding their lives - and turned into a comic book. A cheap, childish, dull-witted comic book. Characters that could have been full, interesting people came across as cardboard cut outs, silly caricatures where there should have been flesh & blood. Still, just like the car wreck on the autoroute or the co-worker drunk and lascivious at the office party, I couldn't look away.

As bad as it was, it got me thinking. When Pat was a baby, we sang to him - anything that was on the stereo was his lullaby. His favorite stories weren't the piles of books that I bought for him; it was the liner notes of our large record collection. I can still remember him asking why the Bolos and Bozos couldn't be friends (dear friends- Europe 72? The Dead? C'mon, you know this. I know you do). When he discovered MTV on a visit back to the States, he was about 15 months old. It was all over before it began. The family started to call him the 'MTV baby' because you couldn't get him away from videos, singing, dancing and baby air-guitar. Being a musician from a family of musicians, well what could I do? I bought him a guitar...um, actually it was a ukulele. Most kids would have stopped right there. Not Pat. As soon as he could lift it, the stand that held our fireplace tools became his mic stand. Toss on a pair of funky green sunglasses and the legend of "I a Def Leppard" takes root. Little Pat would hear a DL song start up and whrrrr - he'd arrive running to start 'playing' his guitar. "Pat - what are you doing?". "I a Def Leppard - look" (followed by a scissor jump and heavy strokes down his tiny little fret board). He went to a DL show at age 3 1/2, got a giant T-shirt which became his favorite piece of clothing and cemented his ideas of stardom forever. So, I think that you can see why this crappy movie was a slap to the mother of their biggest little fan.

It's funny, that crappy movie got me thinking of band histories. When I was a teen, my dream was to be the next Lester Bangs or Hunter S. Thompson (PBUH). Catch a story, share a history of the music that was such a part of my own spirit, relate how important and life changing all of this noise was. I saw everybody that I could see - sometimes catching 2 or 3 shows a night, hitting the road with absolute strangers to get to the next big thing. Living for the moment that the lights would roll and the band would fly into view. Being young, wild and reasonably attractive didn't hurt and yup, got my fair share of fun, too. I could share a few choice details about a few folks...but that wouldn't be right. My first real boyfriend was in a band - met him at his video shoot and from there...well, band histories... you know. It was part of the experience. Part of my identity. Why would it be unusual then, for my offspring to be so wrapped up in this culture? To quote my mother, 'the acorn doesn't roll too far from its tree'. Thank, Mom - your support has been immeasurable.

Back in the day, the details mattered so much. I had forgotten the need to research and learn as much as I could about a group. On a whim yesterday, I did a little work on DL, just to see what had become of this major influencer of my toddler. Last year, I was thrilled to hear 20th Century Boy again - Marc Bolan is one of my all time faves but that DL would cover it struck me as odd. A comeback attempt + a chance to share their own influences, I suppose. What I learned yesterday was the usual stuff - young guys form a band, band exceeds expectations, fame goes to their heads (and bodies) and then, they disappear. Comeback's attempted, no one's interested. Band history. What I was surprised to learn about, however was how one band member has taken his own life struggles and used his energy to help others. The Raven Drum Foundation looks to drumming and communal rhythms as agents of healing and spirituality. Not new concepts, by any means but I found it refreshing to see someone take their life and use it for healthy causes. I really enjoyed their site, especially the interviews with Rick Allen where he discusses his (dis)ability and how he worked to re-wire his brain after losing his arm. As our understanding of what a disability is shifts towards acceptance of being 'differently abled' , frank discussions like this are healing. I suppose that our biggest obstacles are really those which live in our minds.


Yeah, never leave your photos in the custody of your children - if you ever want copies of them, that is

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I was fine...

until I stopped breathing

I was so excited by my news late Friday evening that I decided to drop in on K the elder at work to tell him. The only problem were the rubber boots on the counter...right beside the crates of pool chemicals. Latex... chlorine...Yeah, about that... Asthma is a bitch. Actually, the term is 'respiratory distress' as what I have isn't asthma per se; it's a by-product of my condition and I usually used a steroid inhaler to keep my lungs working. Because I don't work in a 'dirty' office any more, I've cut back on my steroids and with the cold that I picked up last week, there are plaques on my airways (who knew?!? Well, actually I did but being stubborn and oblivious are just some of my charms). Inflammation + chemicals = scared. Within minutes of arriving, I was unable to open my left lung and my throat has closed up. It took cold water and fresh air, menthol losenges and a whole lot of time before the whistling noises stopped. I have to admit it was pretty funny to see people looking all around to find out who was whistling at them...

Who says there's no knitting going on? They lie! There's tons and tons of it (ok, maybe not tons but a few pounds, at least)
First, there's the purple sweater

There are the bitey mitts, waiting for their tongues and eyes to be added
And - ta da!!!- Zia's new sock pattern!!! Not only are they pretty socks, buying the wool for them took me out of my comfort zone, straight into one of the most positive conversations of my week. On a whim, I took the advice of some wise spinners whom I had met at an artists conference and went to the Mississippi Black Sheep in Carleton Place (they really need a web site). What a stroke of luck! A lovely little shop, filled with all sorts of woolly goodness. A friendly host with a good heart and a love of her work. It doesn't get any better than that. This was probably the best customer service experience that I've had in a loooong while! After a great chat, I was on my way with a hand-wound skein of the most lovely periwinkle blue with flecks of royal purple wool. The weight is perfect and the prices in that store are really really reasonable! I was worried that I was going to drop a few more bucks than I actually did and was so entranced with my giant bundle of blue that I almost forgot where I had parked. Yeah, I could be an astronaut; I'm just that smart... just like a dump truck

I really thought that with the Mercury retrograde over, communications would be smoother but it seems like there are still some glitches out there, trying to resolve themselves. I made a presentation last week where I reminded the group to be mindful of their words, to walk with 'light feet'. It seemed to hit a note and several people spoke to me about it afterwards. In my life, I have 2 ideals - to be the person my dogs think I am (except that Jack doesn't quite know what to make of any humans right now) and to emulate my beloved Grandfather in his way of living. I can remember him telling us, after the horrors that he had lived through, to always be kind. "If you have the choice, choose to be gentle. And you always have a choice", he'd tell us on our walks. Out of all of us grandchildren, I am the one who remembers these walks with fondness. My older brother remembers them as a' have to' (versus a 'want to'). My older cousins remember these walks as a burden, of 'having to keep Zeyde busy'. I was the smallest, the one who was always lost in the crowd of sibs, half-sibs ,step-sibs and cousins and he focused a lot on my heart, helping me to shape positive thoughts. I thought that I had forgotten a lot of what he tried to impart but I now realize just how much I absorbed. A careless word, an unkind gesture can alienate and hurt. Even though I'm far from a Bodhisattva, I am learning (and re-learning) to be kinder in my day-to-day life. If a man who survived 2 World Wars and witnessed how cruel humans can be, can open his heart to the world, then there's hope for all of us. I just need to keep remembering this when the light seems its dimmest.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Who Should Paint You: Andy Warhol
You've got an interested edge that would be reflected in any portraitYou don't need any fancy paint techniques to stand out from the crowd!


Yeah, I kinda figgered a Warhol would be appropriate...
Child of the 70s...hippy parents...yup

Blame it on PMS?

In this case, it stands for Pessimistic Mind Syndrome. It's been a bitch of a (couple of) years and I've learned not to get overly optimistic when a plan's afoot. After a day/week of misery, thinking that I had been denied my grant/ contract, a late evening phone call made me spin on my heels. After the comments made when I handed my application docs in and those made when I interviewed, I was sure that someone would tried to snafu it for me. When you prepare a professional, succinct presentation and then get told that they don't want to see it, you do start to wonder why you bother putting on a suit, driving 45 KM and smiling like a madwoman.
At any rate, apparently they were quite impressed despite outward appearances and want me to continue with my business plan. Being self-employed is a tough gig, on any level but I couldn't do it any other way. I'm opinionated, obstinate and awake - yup, I'm a triple threat LOL

Better get my poop in a group and finish up on a few crafty things around Rancho Bumbershoot.

The short list

  • Finish 3 pairs of chompy, bitey Gator mitts (almost done...almost...)
  • Finish the 3 totes sitting on my work table
  • Get an Etsy store up and running by the end of May
  • Decide which events and markets to set up at
  • Finish all of the painting projects around here (yeah, like the hall ceiling that's been waiting for 3 years to be finished. There was a death in the family when I started it and I dropped my roller when I got the phone call. Haven't been able to tackle it since....Patching all of my cracked plaster would be nice too - that friggin' jackhammer did a real number on my ceilings and the tops of some of my walls. Curse this plaster on lathe, turn of the century crap - give me a little gyprock, won't ya!?!)
  • Rehang all of my artwork now that that infernal jackhammer has left the work site

In the middle of the maelstrom, I did finish a couple of totes. I cut out the panels for this faux-tik a week or two ago but only got around to sewing them on Thursday. Because the fabric is pretty thick (like a light denim/twill), I didn't interface it. It still feels durable and everything's triple stitched. I may add some stiffener in the bottom, maybe some fun foam or plastic canvas/ buckram

Like Bubbi, I tend to gravitate towards polka dots and the yellow really looks happy, lining this shopper-tote
I tried to get some of the nicer, more complete images on either side; the back has a pretty elephant baby

I'll try to slap up a few other things that I've been busying myself with lately, when there's a moment

Here's to a great (peace-filled) weekend. I hope that yours is warm and wonderful, too


Thursday, April 26, 2007

you know it's been a rough week when

I start dreaming about buying the bus
Of course, the MCI was sold... it's the only one that I wanted. I once flipped the bird to some big bald dude driving that bus after he cut me off on my nightly commute. A couple of weeks later, I was so excited to pull into my first Fred show and lol & behold, there was the bus and who was leaning against the door? Why the big bald dude, of course!
After wiping all of that egg off of my face, I went in and enjoyed the best show EVER - they even did "rev it up". Willie smiled that beautiful smile as we sang along. Fred told us jokes (I've heard them all so many times, now - thank God!) The vibe was good; the people were great...
Man, I miss that bus

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Monkeys, poop and phobias

Ok, I guess I have to come clean...I have a mortal fear of monkeys
In my post about Pink Mohair's problems getting Bugaboo to offer a sensible solution to her stroller woes, I used the expression "holy flying Monkey crap", much to Linda Lu's amusement. To me, it's one of the scariest images ever but I guess if you've never lived with a monkey, you just don't know about that. It's just funny. I, unfortunately, did live with a monkey. An ancient, dirty, possessive, violent monkey. There's nothing funny about it, to me or to my siblings

My grandfather emigrated from his country as a young man, accompanied by his older sisters and brother. Alone in a new place, speaking a new language, they started their lives again. Once they started working (their English was much better than his), they felt that 'poor Stan' was lonely and my Great-Aunt suggested getting him a dog. My Great-Uncle John said that he would look into a suitable dog and hit the market. You can imagine everyone's surprise (and Zeyde's delight) when John pulled a small, scared monkey out of his coat that night. Well, Monkey (yes, that was his name) moved in. He went every where with Stan, who of course, loved him like a child. He went to work. He went to football. Everywhere. When he married my Grandmother, Zeyde had to put Monkey out of reach because he would grab about poor little Edith, rip her clothes and shake her. 7 lbs. of monkey vs. 4'11" of hot-tempered Irish beauty - think about it. Monkey was banished to a nest in the kitchen where, frustrated by the distance between him & his nemesis, he resorted to what later became known as "doing it". This was really 2 activities - yes, the perquisite poop-flinging that we've all seen on TV - that was scary enough but it got worse. Monkey's live forever - FOR-FREAKING-EVER- and Monkey was ancient when I came along. Nestled in a perch on top of a chest freezer in the back kitchen, Monkey sat, stared and shook various parts of his anatomy at anyone who got too close. Even as a toddler, I loved all animals and wanted to cuddle the 'baby'; the 'baby' wanted to pull my hair out of my head, throw poop at me and shake his genitals violently at me. When we were cleaning out that house after my Grandparents were gone, I could still hear Bubbi screaming, "Staaaaaaaaaaaaaan he's doing it again!". As funny as it might seem, I still cannot touch a monkey. Look at a monkey. Like a monkey

Maybe I should be grateful - all I ever needed to know about male anatomy was learned fairly early on thanks to that hairy, stinky mess of monkey

So, do ya still like monkeys?

Monday, April 23, 2007

How do you mend a broken dog?

Someone vandalized the work site and tried to break into our home while we were out yesterday...I only found the evidence after I found Jack running through the house. WTF!?! K the elder was supposed to put both of them in their crates before left for Ottawa? Here he was, loose and totally freaked out

Jack destroyed his heavy welded metal crate in an attempt to escape from these 'people' and now he's his manic old self again. He can't be crated right now but I needed to shower- I came back downstairs after 5 minutes of speed shower this afternoon to find him trying eat the bars of his kennel, cracking his teeth and screaming. Nash, poor lad, just sat and watched, confused and worried about his big brother.

We were out for a total of 45 minutes yesterday. That's all it took to destroy his sense of safety. When MC & I got back home, he was loose and had ripped out the sun room baffles from the dog bars (yes, I have installed dog bars after he jettisoned himself through the glass trying to escape on several occasions). In order to stop him from slipping through the dog bars (this is the dog that once escaped through the cat door - all 97 lbs of him - we created heavy 'dog-proof' screen baffles to attach to the bars. Yesterday, he ripped the baffle and the screen out. I think that we got home just in time to stop him from leaping out. Thank God for that- at least he didn't get loose and hurt, hit by a car or shot by one of my neighbours.

I just called my Vet's office and they're so wonderful; when they heard how he was behaving, I could hear the Vet Tech's voice change. They know his story and how far he's come. She sounded as worried as I am. She consulted with our favorite vet, Dr. Malloy who told me to give him 50 mg. of Gravol every 12 hours, for a max. of 2 days until we can get him in to the office to get him something stronger. I'm so anti-chemical but this is extreme... We've done all sorts of behavioral modification but he still slips once in a while. Never like this, though. This is totally off the scale or I wouldn't even consider medicating.

I feel selfish saying this but this is the most important week of my business-life and I need to prepare. Instead, I've got this big dog, drooling and whimpering, trying to fit underneath the couch I'm sitting on. He's already tried to climb under the ottoman, the PC desk, and tried to fit into the lower cupboards in my kitchen. His brain is not working. He's gone. Totally fried. Couldn't these stupid f*#ks bother someone else????

I was Jack's last chance, when I brought him home from the pound. They pretty much told me so - after 2 failed adoptions, he was too much for any other family. I didn't believe that it could be that bad - I was wrong. It was worse. He has been so badly scarred by his early life that he cannot take any changes, noises or even some smells. Motorcycles terrify him. Children terrify him. Life terrifies him. Right now, I terrify him. After years of being his only trustworthy friend, he now feels like I'm out to get him too. I may never be able to leave him alone again... Does anyone out there what to do with this?

I'd better close this before my tears short circuit my laptop...